Thursday, June 27, 2013

Book 2, "A Much Welcomed Yearning"

I'm working on editing some of the stories I had written for class. It's interesting to rework stuff that I've done in the past. I've done that here before. It's something that I enjoy. To me, it's sort of like collaboration with myself. There's different perspectives tackling the same issue (whatever it may be), but the perspectives are still me. Here, I present to you an original and a rewrite, both done by Past Justin.

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Peel off the hearts stuck to my wall (Frige)



As I peel off the hearts stuck to my back I admire the empty space in my chest

I see the heart I strive for dangling in front of me, like a carrot on a string



Let me As I peal off these the red hearts stuck to my Bathroom wall
And
Fill the wall with an empty space

And I hope one day the one I eye will fill it greatly
                                                                 In Full   12/20?/07

Rewrite: 10/16/11

Alone in my bathroom I peel off the heats stuck to my back and let them float to the ground.

When I am clean I admire the empty space in my chest with a curious satisfaction and a much welcomed yearning.

---
No matter where you are
somehow I will find you

Not a bad rewrite. I'm not sure if it really should be considered a rewrite, though. Maybe it should be known more as a condensing of ideas, or a refined draft. The process that I had when writing poetry way back when was sloppy, and didn't often yield finished results. So, I guess you could say that this poem took me fourish years to write.

It's interesting to think about how nothing is ever really finished, especially in the life of creating things. It's not going to ever be as perfect as I want it to be, and I think I can understand that on a functional level, but putting a seal on the work that basically says "I'm not going to change this piece from what it is now," will be nerve racking when I eventually sit down and do that. I'm not even sure if people do that, or if that's at all a thing.

I'm sure I drew inspiration for this picture from a book I read at my uncle's wedding. I don't remember what it is called, but it was a children's book that basically talked about going to the ends of the Earth to find a loved one (you).

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Sinking in superfluous snow, slush in shoes, slug in sleep, sigh in sap, and scream inside, sleeping sheep shift the sands and shoot the sense, shredding all sights (of sex)

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I remember writing this, and being worried about including the "of sex" portion, hence the parentheses. Even then I was writing for an audience, and I felt weird talking about sex. I'd like to say that it was my young age and innocence that introduced the unease, and I will. I will say that. And, I would like to further attest to Past Justin's gumption on the inclusion of this portion, even if it's hidden, and not at all a big deal. It was sort of a big deal then, to me. That's an honest self expression that I was nervous about sharing with anyone. The subject's too taboo. How can we avoid the anxiety throughout youth, without disrespecting what it is?

As an aside, I adore alliteration.