Saturday, August 11, 2012

Book 1, "Will?"

It seems like we have come across my first poem. I don't think it's very good, but I'm not sure judging it is wholly fair in this case. It's written a little oddly, in addition to me being quite the youngster when I wrote it. I guess I found out in the process of writing this one that it's difficult to come up with proper adjectives to describe things. Language is not perfect, and I feel like this was me exploring that imperfection.



---

               will?
Soaring clouds spacle the skies
Floating           explore
                       travel
Rolling waves cross the ocean
                      tumble across
                      search
Suspended stars watch over the universe
                          watch
                          wait out
                          Brighten
Chilling winds cool the deserts
                      chill

Falling snow decorates the lands
                    adorns
                    ornaments
Wilting leaves conceal the soil
                      overlay
                      shroud
                      enshroud
life granting light Bakes the surface
                         nits           earth
          Pours down upon     planet
                         Illuminates
Violent Hurricanes tear through the terrain
Active volcanoes spawn new coming islands
Biting hail pelts the life within
Revitalizing rain Heals this hurt ground
                                        scarred
Concealing Fog casts questions upon on known lesser known facts

Dark night competes with light day

And Humans live
                     exist
                     love
                     think
                     ponder
                     Hope
                     wish
                     change
                  >die
                     Kill

---

So yeah, a little odd. I do like the way that I used a bunch of adjectives to vie for the same spot in the poem although I wish I had used better adjectives. I feel like this had potential, namely because of how much I liked the ending, but I feel it was hurt with the generic feel that the descriptions of nature had. Maybe I'm crazy and it's just because I wrote it that I'm not pleased with it, but it definitely looks broken. That's for sure.