Thursday, August 16, 2012

Book 1, "Compared"

In addition to the source of my senior quote and the three lines found on the front of Book 1, this page has something revealing about my character. I'm not the biggest fan of military affairs, I'm not against it, but I'm not really sure where I stand. I know I have no grasp on how people in the military feel when the sign up, and I definitely didn't when this was written. This is pure guesswork on the part of Past Justin on how people in boot camp might feel.


---

The ink flows from my pen
like words from my mouth
and thoughts from my head
_________________________________________________________________________________
A soldier
Soldiers enlists like a kindergartener
on their first day Pretty sure this whole line is meant to be crossed off
like the first day of school, more
of exitment runs through the soldiers
body
But just like school a child at school the soldier
comes to know what he has really
signed up for and begins to hate
it
He looks forward to the end of it all
like a student does with school
He thinks of leaving early but remembers
the consequences
Every day he compaires to the life
he had in school, every day he looks forward
to the end of it all.

---

I still feel like there be some merit to this comparison. But I think that it's worth noting that this comparison can be made with many aspects of life. There are many things that we set out to do with wonderful energy and high hopes, but when we actually get to doing those things the color of it all seems to fade. It's not what we had made it out to be. I've found that to be true with a lot of things, relationships, writing, vacations, movies, and even video games. I tend to build things up in my mind to impossible heights and when they don't meet my expectations I'm disappointed with them. It's usually the surprises, the things that I don't look forward to, or don't expect to be doing that really end up pleasing me. When I simply sit down to write, or draw, with no specific topic in mind, I am at home. Days without plans are the most relaxing. Hanging out with friends doing nothing in specific are the memories I cherish most.

If I've got this head knowledge of how I work down to the point where I can write it, and read it, then why is it I still build things up to the point where any attempt at reaching that height will be a disappointment? Sometimes I wonder why I to think about things so much. I also think that it might hurt more than it helps.