Rush-81.4815

Just saw Rush with stand up guy William Hans Kennedy. I enjoyed it pretty thoroughly. It's really not quite what I was expecting from the trailer. The focus in the film was distributed pretty evenly between the two rival characters, and I really liked that a lot. I appreciate what the movie had to say about enemies. It made me want one, and it made me want to do something competitive.

My first week of work went well, I'd say. I got a chance to do some actual work on Friday, and was pretty pleased with what it was like. We'll see how it holds up in the coming weeks, but I'm not even these next few weeks will be a sturdy gauge on how the job is going to be in the long run. Some hectic stuff is going to be happening, but it's only going to be happening once, and then probably never again so long as I work there.

I've been having trouble writing. I wouldn't really say I've had trouble with time management. I don't have as much time as I'd like, but who does? It's mostly the stories, I think. Or maybe it's me. They're becoming uninteresting, or feel too unstable to attempt to fix.

I've always told myself that the reason I write is to provide an escape, to give back to the world of fiction, to throw my hat in the ring with the other story makers. Whenever I sit down to write though, I always end up saying something, or at least trying to. Trying to teach the reader some valuable nugget of wisdom, or at least give them the tools to learn on their own. That's not at all intentional. It is, however, completely natural, and it's giving me trouble.

So, realizing this has sort of forced me to wrestle with my stories. I've come to accept something that I've attempted to deny for quite some time now. It's making things difficult, at least for now. I don't think I'm well read enough. I might try to focus on that more in the near future. I've got a weakness when it comes to finishing things. Hopefully reading more will help me discover something to stick with.

I'm not disappointed in the writing I've done. It's been a lot, and it's helped me grow. I'm not sure it's what I want to stick with though. We'll see. I'm not going to be throwing it in the trash or anything. Just shelving it while I try to find myself I guess.