Sunday, March 23, 2014

Texas: A Review

Texas- 3/10

I took a trip with Jeremy and Hans to visit our friend Fez in San Antonio, Texas. This is a summary of the trip and a review of the state.


The trip started out great. Hans locked himself out of his bedroom (which we decided to deal with when we got back (and are currently dealing with)), I was first to drive and drove into the parking curb at the McDonald's we stopped at before taking off, and I peed a lot. I peed a lot the whole trip.

This was the first real vacation I had been on in over four years, and aside from my work trip to California, the first time really being out of the state without my parents. My past experiences, the ones controlled by powers above me (mother/father), told me that you pee every single chance you get, and you don't even think about drinking liquids while driving. Turns out when you're driving, or when your friends are driving, peeing isn't really a thing you've got to worry about.

I took first shift driving, and got us all the way into El Paso, the anus of America. New Mexico is quite the land of enchantment, especially when there are dust storms and you pass through time zones. I felt like I was going no where, but made it across the whole state quite quickly. We lost an hour, but it felt like we gained one. El Paso really isn't a great place, just driving through anyway. There are more strip clubs than Wallgreens (not sure if that's true, but it sure seemed like it) and it butts right up against Juarez, which isn't the prettiest looking place.

Driving across Texas was miserable. It smelled horrible, and two of us in the car were lead to believe that it was actual Texas that smelled horrible, and not the other farting because he ate two high fiber muffins in the morning. Truth be told though, there really were some parts that smelled foul. The landscape was pretty boring, the small towns were uninteresting small towns (though there was one which is basically built on duck racing), and a lot of, well, space. Texas is huge. It's huuuuge. This trip got me farther East than I have ever been (Houston, the land of toll road robbery), which was fairly exciting.

We got to San Antonio eventually, which turned out to be a really, really nice city. Quite the diamond in the rough, or the needle in a haystack, or the one good thing in Texas. It was very good to see Fez, and his apartment is a home I wouldn't mind having.


I woke up and caught up on some work that I had missed from the drive on Wednesday. Fez had left earlier in the morning to get to his own job, but picked us up for lunch (some tasty BBQ spot) and then we toured his workplace (USAA). That building is nice. That was surprisingly one of the highlights of the trips. It was nice to walk the grounds and see what our good buddy does on a daily basis.

We got to meet a co-worker of his at the work place and went to a party afterwards, where we met other co-workers and played games. From the brief time I got to spend with them, it seems like Fez is in good hands. 


Friday we planned on going to NASA, 'cause ya know, that's a thing you should do when you're in Texas. NASA has been pitched to you since you're a kid, and you figure, 'Hey, let's check this out while we're here.' So we drive (Fez drives) three hours to Houston, which is littered with awful toll roads, and visit NASA.

We stopped at a place which was advertised as having the 'Best Buffalob Urgers in Houston.' They were alright, so in addition to having toll roads everywhere, Houston has only bad-mediocre Bufalob Urgers. Can't say I was impressed. NASA though, it'll be worth it, right?

Nope. It was kinda neat, getting to see the place, but the best part about our NASA visit was the first NASA employee we saw. There was a gardener leaf blowing on NASA property, and someone looked to someone, pointed, and said 'That guy works at NASA.' Then, practically the rest of the time spent at NASA was pointing out people (and motorcycles) that worked at NASA. Fun, but not six hours worth of driving fun.

On our way back we went to Buc-ee's which screamed 'AMERICA' right in my face, loudly and with a beaver's face. That was a neat experience.

We got back into beautiful San Antonio and had ourselves some tasty Italian food with the co-worker of Fez's we met at his workplace.


Sea World didn't happen because it was $50.00 a ticket and Jeremy hates Orcas. 'Mur is Furder,' he says. Instead, we went to a neat diner where I had a meh burger and we got a three pound cinnamon roll. That was cool. Jeremy got a chicken fried steak that was literally the size of an iPad and a half.

We then went to the batting cages, relaxed at Fez's a bit, and then went to a mini golf place. Both things were a decent amount of fun. On the way back from the golf, though, we stopped at a Mexican restaurant, and I had the most delicious tacos I've ever had in my entire life. Taqueria, I believe it was called. Go there if you get the opportunity.


Then the drive back. Today. I don't even know. Texas sucks. Traveling sucks. I had a good time. San Antonio is great. Don't fart on your nice pillow, you'll regret that. It was good to see Fez. Some other stuff happened. I'm tired and am going to go to sleep. Vegas 2012.