I am most pleased to be here

I just drove around for a while hoping to run into some rain. I didn't. It was a nice drive, but it also kind of sucked. I took it all the way down Tanque Verde and found a really nice spot for star gazing. If there weren't clouds reflecting infinite city light tonight, I think it would have been stunning. I plan on revisiting that spot on some clear night in the future.

I tracked down a nice cityscape intake place that I had been shown in high school. I've only been there maybe three times, but I remembered how to get there. Even through residential roads, I was able to find my way. That seems crazy to me. Comforting, but crazy. It was a nicer view than I remember, but it wasn't a nicer experience going there alone. It wasn't haunting, being there alone in the dark, looking onto society, separated. But I guess I kind of hoped it would be. I hoped it would have been something, anyway. Instead, it was kind of just pretty, but I couldn't find it in myself to appreciate it.

The wind was good. The temperature made for nice windows down cruising. The lightning didn't light up the sky as much or as often as I had hoped when I initially set out, but it was nice. I saw two people taking pictures (or trying to) of the lighting. It looked like they knew what they were doing. I hope they got something of value from their time spent along the side of the road like that.

I went places I had never been before. I found places I went a long time ago. I drove by the old houses of old friends. I looked and looked for some sort of epiphany or sight or something to jar me from this internal funk I've fallen into. But, like the rain, I didn't really run into anything.

I stopped by my dad's house before I went home. I haven't been there in a while. It's different. I still feel comfortable there, but the level of familiarity I shared with that house has been diminished by time. Still. The visit didn't have the effect I had hoped it might have. I did walk away with a slice of delicious meat and it was good to surprise my family a little and sort of check in with the house. The more I visit, the less that diminishing of familiarity will be felt.

When I got back to my apartment, I did realize that I have already achieved a high level of comfort with this place. I am pleased to sit at my computer in these walls, to lay on my couch, and to relax. In the midst of an evening filled with a starry sky, lightning, city lights, nostalgia, and never before seen places, I am most pleased to be here.

If only being here could shake out the balloon in my chest.

Still Haven't Found It

Comic Strips

I was hoping to have a first strip rendered in different styles here today. I've been working pretty hard on nailing down characters and a general idea of what's going on in a comic strip, and I think I've made some really good progress. I think I faced some major drawing improvements this week, which was pretty cool to see and feel, but I didn't realize that creating a strip is a lot, a lot different than just drawing characters on a piece of (digital) paper and throwing some words next to them (though it's not like you should throw that method out entirely or anything).

I really like my characters and I'm satisfied with the very loose plot I've got going on. More a stage for the strips to manifest than a plot, really. But this style thing is impossible. I thought I had a couple things worth giving a shot today, and I thought I would have the ability to sit down and refine them to the point where I could provide some rough examples here so I could get some input.

Alas, I didn't realize how things change when you have to deal with panels and character bubbles and sizing. And I knew I would have to be drawing the same stuff over and over and over again, but actually sitting down to do that definitely made me re-think a couple of the things I was thinking about doing style wise. I think even my simplest character renditions are too complex.

And then I got my new dishes in today, so I had to clean those. And I watched the first two episodes of Cosmos and the first three episodes of Caprica. So, my whole expectation that I was going to have the drive to sit down and churn out some quality items was pretty misplaced.

I know I come here often, and talk about what I'm working on or planning on doing. And I know that nothing really ever comes of it. And so I appreciate you still coming here, if you do, and kind of just watching me in the perpetual state of birthing ideas and projects and never really raising them. This'll probably be another one of those things, but I hope it's not.

And I guess saying that all my projects remain just born children (if they get born at all) isn't completely accurate. I've got a couple card games through the terrible twos stage. I guess I just haven't really talked about them after having reworked them into a state I like.

Anyway. Maybe I'll have something next week.

Thanks.